With the summer holidays in full swing, separated parents may find themselves facing disagreements over how time with their child or children is shared.
These situations can be emotionally challenging, not just for the parents, but also for the children, who may feel that their wishes and feelings aren’t being heard or considered.
There are several ways a child’s views can be taken into account when formalising contact arrangements, helping ensure they feel supported and understood.
Child-Inclusive Mediation
If parents are unable to reach an agreement, mediation can be a helpful step. This involves working with an independent mediator trained to support families through these discussions. Where appropriate, and typically for children aged 10 and above, child-inclusive mediation allows children to be part of the process in a safe and neutral way.
Children can meet with the mediator separately, giving them space to share their thoughts, concerns, and preferences, without feeling responsible for decisions or caught between parents. Their involvement might happen at different stages, such as:
- Early on, to ensure their views are included in the parental agenda.
- Once options have been explored, to help shape the final arrangements.
- At the end, to explain the proposed plans and adjust them based on the child’s response.
This approach helps children feel heard and respected, while allowing parents to make informed decisions that reflect their child’s emotional well-being.
What happens if the court is involved?
If mediation doesn’t lead to agreement and court proceedings are issued, the child’s wishes and feelings are still an important part of the process. Under the Children Act 1989, the court must consider the child’s views, taking into account their age and level of understanding, when deciding on future contact arrangements.
The older the child, the more weight their views are likely to carry. These are often gathered through reports prepared by CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service), such as a Section 7 report, which helps the court understand the child’s perspective and includes it in the judge’s decision-making.
Helping children understand the outcome
Judges also have the option to write directly to the child after making a decision. This can be a powerful way to help children understand the reasoning behind the outcome, especially when they feel left out of the process.
In the case of Re A (Letter to a Young Person) [2017] EWFC 48, Mr Justice Jackson wrote a letter to a 14-year-old boy, Sam, explaining why, despite Sam’s wish to move abroad with his father to Scandinavia, the judge decided it was in his best interests to remain with his mother until he finished his education. The letter acknowledged Sam’s views and explained how they were considered, helping him make sense of the decision and feel respected.
This example shows that while a child’s wishes are taken seriously, the court must also weigh other factors in the welfare checklist to ensure decisions are made in the child’s best interests.
If you’re finding it difficult to agree on contact arrangements with your child or children, especially during the summer holidays, contact Niamh Wilson niamh.wilson@swinburnemaddison.co.uk or call our family law team on 0191 384 2441. Our family law team is here to help.
